“And they lived happily ever after! The End!” Doesn't every woman want that to be their fairy tale ending? After all, Cinderella, Snow White and Belle finished their stories with these words. We however do not live in Disney World where pretend dreams come true. We live in reality land, where if we lose our glass slipper, we usually have to find it ourselves. If we eat a bad apple, rarely does Prince Charming come running to our side with a kiss. We live in a land where there are dishes to do, clothes to wash, meals to cook, and we are up to our eyeballs with e-mails. You may sometimes feel, the faster you go the more behind you get! In this busy life, how can we find the time to make our husbands feel they are “King of His Castle?” A friend once said, “If something is important enough to you, you will find the time to do it.” Ask yourself this question, how important is your marriage?
1. Vow to be a good communicator. Don’t use words like always and never, especially when arguing. Communicate with kindness!
2. Love him his way. If he likes dark chocolate, buy it for him occasionally as a special treat. If he likes blue color, be sure to often buy his clothing and yours in that color. If he hates spinach then don’t serve it. If it is important to him to have a tidy home, recruit the children to help pick up before he walks in from work. Remember, his first impression sets the tone for the evening.
3. Be an encourager by patting him on the back with words. Never bring up a difficult topic as he leaves the house. Remember timing is everything.
4. Greet your husband with a kiss when he comes home. Give him a few minutes of your undivided attention, letting him know he was missed followed by some alone time to unwind. “Alone time” is what men often treasure, so be generous. Avoid greeting him with a chore, or a child to take care of: give him a chance to take a breath and maybe pour him a cool drink.
5. Plan a surprise get-away weekend. Make it memorable and unforgettable, by choosing a place he enjoys.
6. Get a professional glamour shot of you for his office. Surprise him with it, even if it’s not his birthday. Gifts are more meaningful if it’s not a special occasion, but just because!
7. In our marriage if someone dislikes doing a particular job, the other picks up the slack as a “labor of love.” We are all different, to one a burdensome chore can be a blessing to another.
8. Men need to be respected. Negative words spoken in public can crush his fragile male ego. Avoid sarcasm, mocking or negative comments. This could close his heart towards you. Words wound, so guard your tongue, even if you have to stop talking mid-sentence.
9. Don’t share with your girlfriends anything that will embarrass or show him in a bad light. Err towards love. Think confidentiality. This may take some time if you have already established a bad habit. A true friend will be willing to avoid negative chit chat and call you on when you stumble.
10. Ask your husband to go for a walk and talk after dinner each night. You can catch up on each other’s life and get your exercise as well.
11. Start and end the day by praying together. Daily make God a part of your married life.
12. Read the same book and discuss it together. This will help you communicate on a deeper level.
13. Get a new hairdo or outfit that is not your usual style. Make new friends, fix a gourmet meal, meet your mate for lunch, or even write him a poetic love letter. Variety adds spice to life; dare to be different. It can breathe new life into your relationship.
14. Set the dinner table with china and put on your best dress. Enjoy a candle lit dinner, just for two. Linger longer and listen to each other more attentively. After dinner say, “Let’s have coffee and talk” as you serve a special homemade dessert.
15. Schedule a date weekly. Take turns planning the date.
16. Write a list of ten reasons why I love you and have him do the same. Then each writes a list of “ten ways I like to be loved.” Make two copies of each list. Keep one copy and give him the other. Spend some time talking about the lists together. If your husband’s way of feeling loved is service, ask him each day how you can serve him. If he likes to receive presents, give generously.
If you want to live happily together, you must put time and effort into your relationship with your spouse. Going the extra mile, and taking time to fertilize your marriage with love, shows your man that you are glad you chose him from the whole world to marry! Maybe he does not find the glass slipper you lost as you ran home from the Ball. Maybe he does not wake you up with a kiss when you are sick, but does he still take your breath away? Well don’t just tell him you love him, show him! Make him feel he is “King of the Castle” and you will be on the road to “happily ever after! The End!”